If you’re someone who tends to steer clear of conflicts, you might be thinking, “Why do we argue so much?” Well, I’ve got good news for you: understanding your argument style can be a key insight.
Whether it’s with your partner or others, the way you handle disagreements can unveil the reasons behind them. Luckily, I’ve designed a spat-style analyzer to help you identify your preferred method of navigating disagreements or, if you prefer, your unique method of reasoning.
What Is an Argument Style?
An argument is a reason to back your conclusion. An argument style is the way you present this reason while supporting your conclusion. Think of it as your communication style for transferring ideas in a disagreement.
Your argument style could be logical, illogical, emotional, red herring, or a combination of all. And your approach to solving contradictions could be deductive or inductive.
What Determines Your Style of Arguing?
While argument style is merely the delivery of your reasoning, it is determined by three fundamental factors of disagreements: Triggers, Reactions, and Conclusions. Essentially, it boils down to what you argue about, how you present your arguments, and what you hope to gain from them that shapes your unique style.
Consider emotional arguers: their triggers often stem from intense emotions, leading them to possibly overreact to a situation. What they value most is being heard and understood. On the flip side, logical arguers find their triggers in flawed or false claims. They have the ability to maintain composure even during heated conversations and prioritize resolving the issue or uncovering the truth above all else.
How to Improve Your Argument Style?
Dan Shapiro, the author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable, suggests that we can all become better arguers by focusing on three core aspects of a disagreement: Identity, Appreciation, and Affiliation. Dan believes that by understanding both sides’ values, listening and respecting opinions, and concentrating on mutual benefits, we can all improve our argument styles.
Discover Your Dispute Pattern with a Quiz
The Argument Style Quiz explores the three pillars of conflicts—trigger, reaction, and conclusion—to identify what type of arguer you are. The options are vast, and you’re likely to be surprised by your results. But knowing the answer will help you form healthier disagreements—especially in your romantic relationships.
